Saved
by RicaResin
Summary: Five times Finn saved Puck, and one time Finn saved Puck. Finn/Puck friendship, non-explicit Puckurt and Finchel endgame relationships


Author's Note: This is a 5+1 fic, meaning that it has five scenes, plus one scene that changes the dynamic of the story. But it can also be looked at as a study into the friendship of Puck and Finn, starting from a very young age

-

At six years of age, Finn didn't really understand what Ohio had to do with snow, but his mommy always talked about them together. She loved Ohio in the summer, but every winter she talked about how great moving would be, usually after she went to clean the snow off the car. Finn wouldn't really mind moving somewhere warmer, because he figured his mommy would be happier and he might make some friends. His mommy blames his lack of friends on the fact that he's shy. Finn figures he'll just go ahead and blame Ohio.

He wonders if it would make sense to blame Ohio for his mommy not being able to pick him up until almost an hour after school is over.

He was supposed to be in the music room with the other kids that had to stay after school, but he didn't really know them. So instead he was standing at the front doors, steaming the window panels and trying to remember how to spell his last name in the condensation. And that was how he saw the kid in the thin coat sitting outside on a bench. It was really cold outside, so Finn didn't really want to go out there, but he also couldn't help but wonder if that other kid knew how cold it was and maybe would like to come inside.

The wind wasn't too bad and Finn sat next to him. "Hi."

The kid looked up with big brown eyes before looking back down and making a grunting noise. Finn wondered if that was supposed to mean something or if the kid didn't know how to talk. "What's your name? My name is Finn Hudson."

"Nunya."

"Hi, Nunya, it's very nice to meet you."

The kid looked up and his eyebrows were pushed together really tight. "What?"

Finn grinned. "My mommy taught me to say that when I meet new people. She says it's polish."

The kid rolled his eyes. "My name isn't actually 'Nunya.' It's Noah."

"Oh ..." Finn blinked slowly. "Then why did you say your name was Nunya?"

"'Cause, grown ups say nunya when they want people to go away, duh."

"... Do you want me to go away?" Maybe it wasn't Ohio's fault. Maybe Finn just didn't like people.

Noah sat for a second and then sighed. "No. I'm just mad."

Finn scuffed his big boots in the snow and noticed Noah was wearing old tennis shoes. Why weren't his feet cold? "Why are you mad?"

"'Cause my mom and dad musta forgot me."

"I didn't know that could happen ..."

"Yeah." Noah wrapped his arms around himself and Finn thought maybe he really was cold. "Me either."

Finn didn't know what he was supposed to say. His mommy never forgot him, he didn't think. Wasn't that what mommies were for? To be mommies? He heard a car honk and his mommy must have known he was thinking about her, because she was waving at him from her car. The teacher keeping an eye on them nodded, saying it was okay to leave, and headed back into the school. And Finn didn't know if he had a good idea or not, but he figured if it went badly he could just blame Ohio.

Finn grabbed Noah's hand and pulled him to his mommy's car. "Come on!"

-

At eight years old, Finn had a few friends, but his best friend ever was Noah Puckerman. Noah was funny and treated Finn nice and always understood that Finn never really knew what to say to people. It was okay, though, that Finn wasn't good with other kids, because Noah was great with them and was always really confident. And Noah came over all the time because Finn's mom always asked about him ever since Noah's mommy fell down the stairs and his daddy left for a week and they forgot to pick him up from school. Finn heard his mom talk about how she wondered just how many times Noah's mom ended up falling down the stairs, and Finn didn't really understand that either, but if it meant Noah came over all the time then he didn't mind.

But he didn't really know how much he depended on Noah until one day when Noah didn't show up for school. Noah had told him before that when a teacher called someone's name in roll call and didn't realize the kid was gone, it meant that no one had called in to tell them what happened. The teacher called Noah's name and Noah wasn't there to make up something stupid and funny to say in response. Finn thought that if Noah was around he would say that Finn was being a big baby for being worried, but if Noah was around then Finn wouldn't be worried in the first place.

His mom did that smile she always did when she thought he was being silly, but when they got home and Noah was sitting on the front steps, Finn wondered if that meant he really should be worried. He knew his mom was worried too when she made them hot chocolate and cookies. But when she asked Noah what happened he got up and went to Finn's room without saying a word. Finn forgot about his food, which wasn't something he did very often, and followed.

Noah was sitting with his arms around his knees on the ground next to Finn's bed and didn't look up when Finn peeked around the corner. Finn copied the way he was sitting and stared at the wall.

"School was boring without you today." Noah didn't answer, simply sniffed into his arms. "We were working on that really boring stuff in Social Studies and I kept falling asleep. And Quinn sat next to me at lunch but I was so nervous that I didn't say anything. I gave her my milk but I don't think she understood because she just kept asking me questions that I was too nervous to answer and then got up and left. Then, in Spelling-"

"My dad's gone."

Finn stopped talking and swallowed nervously.

"I don't think he's coming back this time."

"How come?"

Noah's shoulder's shook a little and his voice was tight, but Finn didn't mention that because it would just make Noah mad. "I woke up and was late for school and Sara was crying. Mom'd been drinking and kept saying mean things and crying almost as much as Sara. She said he'd left 'cause none of us were good enough. And all his stuff was gone."

Finn mumbled an "I'm sorry" but other than that he didn't really know what to say. It wasn't really Finn's fault and he couldn't do anything to make it better, he didn't think.

"You know how my dog died?"

Finn nodded. Puck's dog had been named Max and was a really good dog. Noah had loved him a lot. But he'd been hit by a car.

"Maybe mom was right. Maybe I'm not good enough. First Max, then dad.. Maybe I'm just a bad person. Maybe everything I get close to goes away. Like I'm rotten or something."

Finn balled his hands up into fists. He hated this. Noah sounded so sad and he kept talking bad about himself, which he never, ever did. Finn was starting to get really worried again, and he realized he didn't care if Noah thought he was a baby, but he was going to make his best friend feel better. Leaning over, he kissed Noah on the cheek. Noah looked up with big, slightly wet eyes.

"Why'd you do that?" He sounded kind of scared.

"I'm close to you. And I'm still here. So... that means you're wrong. Right?"

Noah sat there and stared at Finn for a long time. Finn started to feel a little uncomfortable but he figured the way Noah's eyes were moving back and forth meant he was thinking about something. Suddenly, Noah smiled. "Wanna go play aliens?"

-

At eleven years old, Finn knew he wasn't the sharpest tool in the bread box (whatever that meant) but he liked a lot about himself. He liked that he was the tallest person in his class. He liked that when Quinn caught him staring, she smiled instead of giving him a dirty look. He liked that he joined the Junior Football League, even if Noah wouldn't join with him. And he liked that he had a drum set, even if his mom only said he was getting good when she wasn't stressed.

The one thing he had never put much thought into was whether or not he liked his hair.

Noah had crouched low and snuck into Finn's room, jumping around like they did when they played ninjas. Finn didn't really get why he was doing that, seeing as how his mom knew Noah was over here, but he didn't put much more thought into it after Noah closed the door. Because then Noah put his backpack down and pulled out two things. Two really sharp things. One was a pair of scissors, but they were really long and seemed to be a lot sharper than the ones Finn's mom had bought him for Art class. The other thing was like only one half of a pair of scissors. It was really sharp too and glinted in the light from Finn's bedroom.

"It's a razor. It's not going to eat you or anything."

Finn blushed and looked over to Noah. "Why?"

This time it was Noah's turn to blush. Finn was surprised, because Noah almost never did that, but he turned away so Finn didn't see it for very long. "I just ... I need to cut my hair. So, I figured we could do it."

Finn nodded, but Noah was still turned away like he had more interesting things to stare at, so Finn grabbed the scissors and grinned. "They look like swords."

Noah turned and grinned back, picking up the razor and holding it aloft. "Run guard!"

Finn laughed and hit the razor with the scissors. He didn't think it was a bad idea until his mom walked in.

"Finn! Noah!"

Finn dropped the scissors on the floor with a hurried, "I wasn't running with them!" and Noah hid his behind his back and lifted up his shoulders like he always did when he was in trouble. Finn's mom walked up and picked the scissors off the floor, before kneeling in front of Noah and holding out her hand. But she seemed to freeze for a minute after Noah put the razor in it. When she unfroze, she set them down on the table and grabbed Noah's shoulder.

"Honey, where did you find these?"

Noah scuffed his shoe and stared at the ground. "In my dad's old stuff."

"Well," She grabbed Finn's arm and pulled him next to Noah so that she was talking to both of them. "Those are very dangerous and not something to play with, okay?" They nodded at the same time. "I'm going to take them and keep them in the kitchen until we take Noah home."

"Wait!" Finn's mom seemed as surprised as he was when Noah said that. "I need them!"

She sighed and tilted her head. "Why do you need them, Noah?"

He looked back to the ground and Finn spoke up. "He wants to cut his hair." Noah turned and glared at Finn and Finn really wished people would tell him when he wasn't supposed to talk.

Finn's mom chuckled. "Noah, your mom can take you to a professional to do that. You don't have to do it by yourself, silly."

Things got weird then, because Noah wasn't glaring at Finn anymore, he was glaring at Finn's mom, and no one was supposed to glare at Finn's mom. Finn was kind of caught between being mad at Noah for glaring and wondering what was happening. But Finn's mom just raised her eyebrow and then Noah's face got really tight and he looked away again, crossing his arms. "You don't get it."

Finn didn't really understand why his mom wasn't mad, but she actually seemed worried, and Finn wondered if this had anything to do with Noah's hair anymore. "Honey." She put her hand on his arm and moved her head to try to get Noah to look at her. "What don't I get?"

Noah stood there for a second before sniffing and turning back. Finn was glad to see Noah wasn't crying, because Noah had said he wasn't ever going to cry again after last time, and so far he hadn't. "Mom. She got drunk and mad and she ..." He stopped talking but Finn's mom squeezed his arm and he continued. "She said she hated me 'cause I looked like my dad."

Finn thought he might be making that expression that Noah always made fun of him for because he was really confused. He looked at Noah's hair, and he couldn't remember seeing Noah's dad much, but they did seem to have similar hair, especially now that Noah's hair had gotten all long and curly. But didn't Noah's mom love his dad? Wasn't that why she was always so mad now that he was gone? Wouldn't she want her son to look like him?

Thankfully, Finn's mom didn't seem to be as confused. She got really mad at first, because he saw her jaw clench really tight, but then it let go and she nodded, and he didn't know if she was nodding at him or at the floor. "Okay."

Noah looked over at Finn in confusion and then back, before letting his arms drop to his sides. "Okay?"

Finn's mom nodded again, and he guessed it really was to the floor, but then she looked up and gave a small smile before ruffling Noah's hair. "I cut Finn's all the time. It shouldn't be a problem to cut yours."

And once again, Finn didn't know what the big deal about hair was, but Noah gave the biggest smile ever, so everything was going to be okay. Even if Noah left the house with something called a "mohawk" (even though it had nothing to do with birds) and Finn's mom looked like she was mad but at the same time was going to cry.

-

At the age of fourteen, Finn's life was normal, but it didn't seem like it would stay that way. It seemed like things were getting complicated, and he didn't like that. His mom was dating someone new, but he kept hearing her compare him to her ex, and he didn't think that was normal. In school, the words they learned were getting longer and the math equations seemed to take up more and more lines, even though his new school was all about "Saving Paper." Quinn didn't pay him much attention anymore, and Puck said it was because he waited too long, and he didn't understand why that mattered.

Puck was the most complicated thing though. Because Puck was Noah.

Noah had left Finn's house a few years ago with a new haircut, and then things started getting bad. Finn's mom had called Noah's that night and he didn't really know what they were talking about, but there was a lot of yelling. After that, Finn wasn't allowed to see Noah again. At least, that's what Noah told him every day when they hung out at school. Finn wasn't too worried, because even though they weren't allowed to hang after school, they still ate lunch together and were in the same class. Noah still got him the answers to the English test and still called them best friends.

Finn wasn't worried, but he was confused. Just because he still had a best friend didn't mean his best friend was the same person. Noah started telling people to call him Puck, and Finn thought that was really funny for awhile because it sounded so bad. But Noah stuck by it and then summer came and Finn went to summer school and Noah didn't. And when school started again, they still hung out, but Noah wasn't Noah anymore. He was Puck. Puck played football and was a really good running-back. Puck spent time playing guitar because "chicks dug it." Puck shoved Jacob Ben Isreal into lockers because he was mad about something else. Puck made fun of Finn's grades, even though Finn was pretty sure Puck was failing too.

Finn still had a best friend, though, so that's what was important.

One day, however, Azimio shoved him into the brick wall in the Science hallway and suddenly Finn didn't feel like he had a best friend.

"Hey, Hudson. Where's that butt buddy of yours?"

"Huh?" Azimio grabbed his shirt to push him back again and Finn shoved him away. "What's your problem, dude? Back off!"

"Are you even listening to me? I said, where's Puck? I have a beef to pick with him."

Finn dropped his backpack to the ground and set his feet like he would if he was going to tackle someone on the field. "I don't know where he is. What's going on?"

Azimio glared. "Like you don't know. I'm sure you got a real kick out of it together. 'Oh, that chump Azimio. I'm going to sleep with his sister and make him look like a fool!'"

Azimio shoved Finn again, and this time Finn let him. "Wait, what? Puck ... He slept with Lisa? She's seventeen!"

Azimio nodded. "Yep. Jacob Ben Isreal said he heard Lisa and her friends at the mall talking about it. Now, tell me where he is so I can kick his ass!"

Finn leaned back against the wall and stared, shocked. He was a teenage boy, sure, but ... Puck had sex? Weren't they a little young? And why wouldn't Puck have told him?

"Listen." Finn set his jaw and stood up, crossing his arms. "You know Jacob is a loser. He probably just made it up. Instead of beating up Puck over something that isn't even true, why don't you just go beat up Isreal and teach him to stop making stuff up?" Azimio seemed unsure, but he didn't seem as angry anymore. "Seriously. Think about it. Why would your sister sleep with someone like Puck? Someone three years younger than her?"

Azimio stood there and stared at Finn for a moment before grabbing him by his shirt and slamming him back, bringing his face really close. Finn really wished it hadn't been fajita day in the cafeteria, because Azimio's breath smelled horrible. "You know what, Hudson? You probably have a point. But if I find out you're lying, if I find out Jacob was telling the truth ... It's not just going to be Puck's ass I'm going to beat the shit out of."

Azimio dropped Finn and watched him fall to the ground before he stormed off and left Finn to pick himself up. Finn stared at the wall for a minute before grabbing his bag and walking away.

Jacob always told the truth. Puck talked about girls a lot. Azimio was really big for his age. And Noah would never have caused any of this.

-

At the age of fifteen, Finn didn't understand what it meant to have your foundations rocked. He knew that foundations had something to do with the bottom of a house. He knew that rocking something meant to move it. But he didn't truly understand what the expression stood for. He didn't understand how one single occurrence could shake a person to their core and alternately affect everything in their lives.

It didn't take much for him to finally comprehend it, though.

He was at lunch in the cafeteria, Karofsky next to him. Santana, Quinn and Brittany sat across from him and the girl from his math class was braiding Brittany's hair. He wasn't paying much attention, though, because it was sloppy joe day and he loved sloppy joes. Which was probably why it took him until halfway through his meal to realize that the seat on his other side was empty. "Hey, where's Puck?"

Santana was glaring at the girl playing with Brittany's hair for some reason, but answered anyway. "He's not here today." Finn furrowed his brow, trying to remember seeing Puck in the hallways and realizing he really hadn't. Why didn't he know? "You didn't even notice? I thought you were best friends."

Sometimes, Finn hated Santana.

Quinn put down her bottle of tea and leaned forward. "Did you talk to him this weekend? How's he holding up?" Finn gave her a weird look. "You know. With what happened in the parking lot on Friday."

When Finn didn't give any sort of recognition, Karofsky spoke up. "He was gone, right? Finn had a doctor's appointment."

"Oh." Finn nodded in agreement, but that didn't seem to make Quinn feel any better. "So, wait. You haven't talked to him all weekend?"

"No. I was ... busy." Even if he wasn't busy, Puck's mom didn't normally let him stay on the phone with Finn. They were friends in school, but outside it they didn't really talk. It was one of the biggest reasons they weren't as good of friends as they were when they were kids.

Quinn bit her lip and hesitated, but Santana answered. "Puck's dad picked him up from school."

Finn's brain seemed to stop at that. Wasn't Puck's dad gone? Puck hadn't heard from him in years, probably not since he first left. "Why? Why was he here? He just ... He just showed up?" Finn sat back in his chair, a confused look on his face, but they didn't seem to really know what to tell him.

"I don't see what the big deal is." Brittany said to her french fries. "My dad picks me up in the parking lot everyday."

It probably wasn't a big deal, Finn told himself in his afternoon classes. It really wasn't. If Finn's dad had randomly shown up to pick Finn up from school ... Well, Finn probably wouldn't have gotten into the car with a zombie. But he'd probably be so busy he wouldn't have had time to call Puck and tell him, even if they were allowed to talk to each other. And what's the worst that could have happened? It was probably pretty stressful, yeah. Maybe that's why Puck wasn't there today. Finn's mom said once that stress can make you sick.

Then why was Finn's gut hurting so bad?

It wasn't even hurting in the normal way, like when Finn ate too many tacos and then tried to come home and have supper as well. It was closer to that feeling you get when you drink too much water and you're not working out or anything. You can feel it there, deep, sitting there, like lead, weighing you down. And just like when Finn ate all those tacos and got that bad feeling that he was going to throw up, Finn had a really bad feeling right now. But he wasn't going to toss cookies all over the biology room. Something worse was going to happen.

He knew it was stupid. He did. But he chose to skip football practice anyway.

That feeling started to go away when he pulled to up to Puck's house and no cars were there. Maybe they went on a trip? But then why wouldn't his parents call in to the school? Finn decided he'd knock on the door, just to be sure, and was rewarded when Sara opened it.

"Hey, Finn."

Finn grinned at her. "Hey, Sar. Where's your parents? Is Puck home?"

Sara nodded. "Noah's asleep in his room, so I guess he doesn't feel good. He was like that when the bus dropped me off a second ago. And mom and dad got in a fight and left somewhere last night."

"Okay. I'll just ..." Finn bit his lip before making a decision. "I'll just go check on Puck, okay?"

Another saying that Finn didn't get was when people said time slowed down. But when Sara ran to her room and Finn knocked on Puck's, he could kind of feel it, like it was anticipation for something awesome to happen. But that feeling in his gut told him that maybe it wasn't something awesome he was waiting for, but something bad. Puck didn't answer, so Finn walked in, and sure enough, Puck was sleeping.

Finn felt like an idiot.

Puck didn't feel good. He was tired, so he put Sara on the bus in the morning and crawled back into bed. Puck's parents hadn't been there, so why wouldn't he, right? Finn probably would have done the same thing. Walking up, Finn yelled Puck's name and nudged him in the side with his foot. "Come on, dude. Stop being such a lazy loser."

Puck didn't move.

"Dude. Wake up."

Nothing.

Maybe Finn actually didn't drink too much water. Maybe it was there for a reason.

"Puck!"

Not a twitch. Finn leaned down and put his head to Puck's chest, but there wasn't any twitching there either. And Finn didn't know if he was listening in the right place for a heart beat but he knew he should at least be feeling the chest move while Puck breathed and if Puck wasn't breathing then his heart wouldn't be going anyway ... right?

Fumbling for his phone, he pulled it out and dialed 911.

In the end, it took five minutes of mouth to mouth from Finn before the ambulance got there, and then he was left there. He was left in Puck's house, with Sara crying and an empty bottle of pills on the sheets and he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Because the adrenaline was going away and the water in his gut was still there, but this time he was pretty sure he was going to throw up. But instead he called his mom and begged and pleaded for her to come get him, because his best friend had died and now was going to be okay, but that didn't change the fact that he had died.

And Finn hadn't been there.

-

At eighteen years old, Finn had been through a lot. He had been shy, then popular, then a loser, and then a popular loser. He had been a kid who played aliens, to a kid who played football, to a kid who played music. He had been a lonely kid in Ohio, to Noah's best friend, to Puck's best friend, to Rachel's boyfriend, to Rachel's fiance. He had been his father's baby boy, to all his mom had in the world, to Burt's stepson and Kurt's stepbrother. But what it came down to was that the things he used to be didn't matter. All that mattered was the fact that right now he was a popular kid who loved music and loved Rachel. And he also loved Kurt and Burt like family and he didn't want to look at Puck's fucking face.

"Leave me alone, dude. Seriously."

Puck didn't stop, though, just kept walking into the yard and closed the front door behind him. "I need to talk to you."

"I have nothing to say to you, Puckerman."

"Seriously. Talk to me once, and then I don't care if you never talk to me again. Just this once."

Finn clenched his jaw but didn't leave, blowing out air rhythmically like Rachel taught him when she noticed he had a habit of kicking chairs.

"Kurt's moving out."

"What?" Finn made fists and walked up to Puck, but Puck didn't even flinch. "Where?"

"In an apartment. With me."

Finn scoffed. "Yeah, because that'll end well."

Puck swallowed. "Yeah ... That's what I said."

Finn stopped and crossed his arms. "Wait ... So you don't want to live with him?"

"I do ... But I'm not entirely sure we're ready. But he wants to do it anyway. And this is your problem."

"How is any of this my problem? He's the one making stupid decisions like shacking up with a guy like you."

Puck sighed and turned away, but looked back up again and met Finn's eyes. "I know a thing or two about disappointment, okay? I've had some problems in my life, and I've done some stupid shit ..." Finn about interrupted, but Puck stopped him. "And yeah. I know you know that. You saw it first hand ... Several times. And I know we talked about these things, and we tried to move on, but ... I'm sorry. For everything. If you don't know that, I'm sorry."

Finn didn't nod and he didn't talk and he didn't do anything. He couldn't. Because he didn't understand what this had to do with anything and after everything two words really didn't make that much of a difference.

"And if you don't forgive me, I'll understand, but you need to find a way to be okay with me. Some way. Because Kurt has his mind set, and he isn't going to change it. He's moving out. But ... If it makes sense, he needs to move out because he wants to, not because of you. Don't make him move because you're so fucking angry he loves me that you can't even talk to him. Because if there is any doubt, Burt will never forgive you. Your mom will never forgive you. They'll treat you the same, and they'll never talk about it. But you'll know. You'll know they are disappointed in you. And I've been through it and it sucks and ... Even if you hate me, I don't want you to go through that."

This time, Finn looked away. In the back of his mind, something told him that he was talking to Noah. He was talking to the little kid with curly hair who sat in the cold because he was stubborn and always wanted to be the alien when they played in the back yard. The kid that gave Finn his chocolate milk because he'd rather fill Finn's empty carton with water and in return Finn gave him his waffles and just bought extra cereal. The kid who always knew that Finn wasn't very good at what to say and so spoke what he was thinking for him, because he always knew. Always.

"Do you love him more than you loved Quinn?"

"Yes." The answer came immediately and Finn wasn't sure if he or Puck were more surprised by it, but it was out there now.

Finn nodded and turned around, walking down the driveway. And that's all that needed to be said, because whether he was the new Finn or the old Finn, the ball was in his court. And maybe if he remembered what it was like to be the old Finn - shy, confused, Noah's best friend - maybe, just maybe, he could make the right decision.

-


End file.
